so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
