I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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