I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
