yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
