i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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