i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
