Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
