I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
