i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
