We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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