Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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