i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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