I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
