Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
