some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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