the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
