I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
