get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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