Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
