you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
