Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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