Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
