I just cut my nipple shaving
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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