I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
