My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
