if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
