Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
