hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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