You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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