South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
