operation have a gay friend backfired
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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