I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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