those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
