I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
