I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
