I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This toilet bowl is my home.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
