his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I will pee on everything he values.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
