Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
