Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
