dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
