I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
