You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
