he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
