So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
