I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
