You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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