Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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