Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
