I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
