Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
