I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
