Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
