you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
