You're my little dorito
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize