Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
