I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
