she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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