someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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