Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
