Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
